In early morning hours, before the sun rises, into an unusually overcast, humid and rain soaked southern californian sky I have unusual fears and concerns.
In the stillness of silence, illuminated only by my dimmed but present phone screen, social media is telling me something I do not want to face, let alone accept.
At 3:45AM I'm barely up but already nervous. Could I be so self unaware? In early morning hours, people I don't know, tell me . . . what I may not know about myself.
Harry, Laura, Kylie and Carrie, to name a few, all tell me they can help grow my business. Their soft, simple, emphatic tones show me they care about my success.
But underneath their caressing and comforting kindness I wonder how they know - I cannot sell, fend for and support myself? I must look more deeply within.
I wonder what those Silicon Valley technologists can see and know about me from their algorithmically induced insights that my blind spots keep me from seeing about myself.
So much social media interest in me lately. I wonder how frail I must appear and be?